18 things I wish I could tell my 18 year old self.

37213_165806920098957_3048981_n (1)1 – Those DIY blonde highlights are really not a good look. Nor are those massive chavvy earrings that sit on your shoulders and make your neck hurt when you sleep with them in after a night on the WKD’s. The lashings of mascara to make your eyes look like spider legs doesn’t look as great as you think and that neon orange fake tan makes you look incredibly stupid, especially those massive tide marks along your jaw. Sort it out.

2 – Choose quality over quantity when it comes to clothes, especially staples like jeans and coats. Primark leggings are £3 a pair and there’s a reason for this, everyone can see your My Little Pony pants through them and it’s not a pretty sight. Make sure you have a set of well-fitting black trousers and a smart shirt for job interviews (and funerals) that are from anywhere but Matalan.

3 – Don’t be so honest, the truth rarely sets you free. Surviving the various minefields of life requires 75% honesty and 25% bullshit, be good at the latter and you’ll go far.

4 – Cherish your time with loves ones because as cliché as it sounds, they really won’t be around forever and when the time comes you’ll regret not doing all the things you said you would do.

business cat5 – Don’t fret over college and university. Only a few lucky ones know what they’re calling is at such a tender age and whilst a degree can take you places, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t have one. Your drive, personality and ambition will see you through just fine and you’ll meet a lot of people who spent a shitload of money on a degree that has no relation to their career.

6 – A broken heart can be healed, although it does get worse every time and it’ll happen quite a few times and yes some men can be complete shit but there are really good men out there, try not to push them away out of spite.

7 –  Your mum is your best friend and she really does know best. You will have earth shattering arguments and refuse to listen to her but it’s true what they say and she really does have your best interests at heart and no one will ever love you as much as she does.

8 – Always listen to your gut instinct, especially when it comes to people. Right from the word go you’ll meet some people and something will just be off and you can’t quite put your finger on it, this is your gut instinct kicking in telling you they’re bad news. Listen to it, it’s never wrong.

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9 – START A SAVINGS ACCOUNT and make reasonable monthly deposits. The time will come when you’ll want to fly the nest and have your own slice of mortgage hell and houses are bloody expensive but if you start saving now you’ll have something to put down and get on the property ladder rather than throwing your money into a black hole by renting. Oh, and house shares suck a thousand fat ones.

10 – Don’t sweat what other people think of you. If someone doesn’t like you (and makes it obvious) don’t let their negative vibes rub off on you and just forget about them. Don’t bring yourself down to their level, be polite, be professional if the occasion calls for it but whatever you do don’t bring yourself down to their level. You’re so much more than that.

11 – Stand up for yourself and don’t let anyone take the piss. In school you detested bullying and always stood up for the quiet kid who couldn’t defend themselves but what about when you’re the one at the hands of a bully? You’ll encounter bullies in various forms, especially in the workplace and you’re perfectly within your rights to go above them and nip it in the bud and to not take any shit.

12 – Stop drinking so much alcohol. You’ll literally piss your pay packet up the wall and all it does is make you gain weight, lose a day or two, do stupid shit you’ll regret and skint you out. Know your limits, throwing up into a pint glass and rinsing your mouth out to then go back and drink more is not big or clever, it’s just a waste of money and pretty disgusting.

13 – Let it go. Don’t hold grudges, people aren’t perfect and neither are you. Being angry at the world is stressful and damaging and these emotions will eat you alive if you continue to feed them. Try not to hate, everyone is fighting their own battle you have no idea about.

14 – Never feel like you’re not good enough for anyone, or anything. Some you win, some you lose and that’s just how it goes.

beyonce cooking15 – Learn how to cook and educate yourself about nutrition and how your body works. Cooking is a life skill and the sooner you know what you’re doing the better you’ll be for when you fly the nest. You only have one body, look after it and stop filling it with crap.

16 – Travel the world and broaden your horizons whilst you’re young and financially carefree. Whilst you don’t have rent to pay travel as much as you can! The world truly is your oyster, work a season here, a season there and a season way over there. You’ll meet amazing people and things you never thought you were capable of. The real world can teach you things you’ll never learn in a classroom.

17 – LEARN TO DRIVE. Do it now whilst your young and have a disposable income, driving lessons (and time to do them) are bloody expensive and it’s another skill that will come in very handy.

18 – Stop doubting yourself and comparing yourself to others, you make mistakes like everyone else and you’re far from perfect but you really are fucking awesome.

5 reasons why women with tattoos and piercings are awesome

Here’s a little something I wrote for Tattoo Love! 

After reading this complete piece of crap I couldn’t help but be compelled to pen a reply as a young tattooed and pierced woman who is neither slutty, boring, mentally ill, selfish or without foresight as mentioned in the article. I have my own opinions on the writers and readers of that dreadful site which is a whole new post entirely but as you can see from the guy who wrote it, he’s bald, bitter and not exactly a heart throb but let’s not dwell on that too much as I’m sure he’s a really nice guy *sarcastic face*. Whilst I know tattoos are not to everyone’s liking and some guys don’t find them particularly attractive on women and that’s that’s cool, whatever floats your boat but please don’t put us down or bash the guys who think we’re the best thing since heavy metal and Krispy Kreme.

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 1 – We’re creative and adventurous. Most tattoos have a hell of a lot of thought behind them (dolphins around the belly button and Rihannaesque stars maybe not so much…) and have a huge back story that means a lot to their wearer. Having highly visable tattoos can cause problems in the workplace if you have a white collar job so most heavily tattooed people work in creative industries such as graphic design, hairdressing, make up artistry etc. where it’s not such a problem and supports our artistic capabilities but don’t be fooled, surgeons, lawyers, teachers and even bankers have been known to have some impressive ink under those suits and ties. Our creative spark is not only just used in our professional lives, we’re also awesome in the kitchen and the bedroom… Ahem.

 kat-von-d-pinup2 – Tattoos are frikkin’ hot! Erm, have you not SEEN Kat Von D, Sabina Kelley and pretty much every Suicide Girl?! These girls are smokin’ hot with incredible ink and if you delve a little deeper you will see most of them have successful careers outside of modelling and are university educated and well travelled. There are many tattooed model networks out there in which you can pay to see full (tastefully) nude photo albums etc. and to date, one of the most famous websites for hot, tattooed women suicidegirls.com has a staggering 2,661 models with thousands of followers and fans across various social media platforms. That’s quite a lot of dudes who like looking at tattooed chicks not to mention the Twitter/Facebook/Instragram/Pintrest/ pages that are dedicated to women with tattoos that also have a plethora of fans.

 Tattooed-old-people3 – We pride ourselves on being different and standing out from the crowd. Personally speaking, I would HATE to look like everyone else and in a sea of grey I’m a burst of colourful energy and I love that my body is a canvas to some incredible artwork which I poured a lot of thought into. Whilst I asked a few male friends what they liked so much about tattooed chicks they all had roughly the same answer – they’re different and interesting to look at which makes them incredibly attractive. Of course, we don’t get tattoos so men find us more attractive, there are a number of reasons why women choose to get a tattoo and making the huge decision to permanently decorate your body is not one to be taken lightly. We understand it’s there for life (as we’re constantly reminded…) and yes when we’re old and wrinkly of course they won’t look as good but you’ll be just as wrinkly as us and won’t look any better.

 4 – We’re confident and outgoing. When you have a lot of tattoos, attention when out and about is inevitable and that’s something that comes with the territory when you chose to look different from the norm. Generally, most people who are heavily tattooed enjoy the attention their body art brings and tend to be friendly, outgoing and more open minded than most as they know the stigma that comes along with tattoos and piercings. We also seem to be missing that ‘princess’ gene that can make girls high–maintenance, demanding bastards. Tattooed chicks love going to raves, festivals, camping and all that good stuff and we’ll even poop in a Portaloo without throwing a fit. We also drink beer and eat pizza with the boys, none of that low-carb crap here, and we’ll even get a round in and play Pac-Man with you.

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 5 – We really don’t care what you think of us. In a world full of rules and regulations it’s a very refreshing and admirable trait, especially in women who are force fed propaganda from magazines and advertising on how we should look in order to be considered attractive. All throughout life we’re told how to act, think and present ourselves as to fit in, from our early years at nursery where we’re made to wear a drab uniform and not allowed to dye our hair or wear fabulous shoes that have a light up heel because it’s against the rules to the adult workplace where similar guidelines are in place. Having tattoos, piercings and looking different to everyone else is like sticking a middle finger up to the rules and society and it’s an incredibly liberating feeling.

Read more by Karleigh at TattooLove.org & The Karleigh Show

 

10 tips for single ladies.

 

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You’re busy with work, you’re still butthurt over an ex, you haven’t got the time to meet people etc. yep, I’ve heard it all from women who badly want a relationship but will make every excuse under the sun as to why they’re cool with being single and why searching for a partner is too much hard work. No one seems to admit to wanting a partner, as a woman you’re made to feel desperate and clingy but being single can be awesome, I know this. I’ve lived this. But sometimes you reach a point where you want someone to go home to, you want someone to share shit with and it’s OK to admit that. You won’t suddenly burst into flames and a rampant midget won’t jump out of the ground and imprint ‘desperate’ on your forehead nor will your vagina suddenly spout a flag emblazoned with ‘I want a baby NOW!’ on it with an arrow pointing to your face. Everyone needs a little love and with the internet at your fingertips bursting at the seams with single men waiting to rip your heart and pants apart it’s easier than ever to find the Jay to your Bey and being drunk in love, instead of well, just drunk.

beyonce single ladies1 – Admit you’re open to meeting someone. Being defensive won’t do you any favours as people will be less hesitant to introduce you to other single friends they have at the risk of having their head bitten off. Plus it’s a dead give away you want a relationship when you get all shitty over happy couples and their PDA’s. You bitter wench.

2 – Go out with other single friends more. Not only does constant socialising with couples make you feel like a spare wheel there’s also less chance of you meeting someone than if you were out with a group of girls plus it will make feel a bit less shit when you hear they’re not getting any either. Oh and you can’t really have an unforgettable night out with a group of loaded, pissed up suits if Suzie and Mike have got to be back home for 10 to put little Timmy to bed. Just make sure your fellow wing women aren’t more attractive than you, or have bigger tits.

3 – Don’t be a stuck up arsehole when guys DO approach you in bars and other social gatherings. I’ve SEEN this happen right in front of me, a decent looking guy has struck up conversation with a (single) friend of mine and to make herself look big and mighty in front us she looked him up and down and rudely rejected his offer of a drink. What a bitch. These women are the reason why men don’t offer to buy women drinks any more and it’s a real shame a guy will stare at you in a bar until the cows come home but only talk to you when he’s stalked you on Facebook to send you a message. Urgh. If you’re genuinely not interested, just say sorry and immediately turn your attention elsewhere but I guess this can open up a whole can of worms regarding the catcalling business but I’m a firm believer in still being polite. One thing that rattles my cage with that video was the way she just ignored everyone that spoke to her, a quick ‘sorry I’m not interested’ would have saved her some drama IMHO but that’s a whole different post.

being single4 – Attend social events for things you really love to meet like-minded people and of course a possible love interest. Websites like Meetup are really good for meeting people you share common ground with and most members of each group are there because they’re single and/or new to the area so it’s a bit of an unwritten rule people are there to date as well as make new friends.

5 – Choose your online dating sites wisely. Sites like Tinder are famous for hook-ups and casual flings and if that’s what you’re after then cool but for something more serious it could be worth investing in a paid site that matches you to people you have things in common with rather than a site that is based purely on looks and how long it would take to jump on the night bus for a booty call. Nice.

6 – The easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Oh yeah, that ol’ chestnut! But it’s true, if you’re hurting over a breakup and you’ll feel like you’ll never meet anyone it’s probably because you’re giving out negative energy and digging yourself further into a rut. Once you go on your first date as a newly single you’ll find meeting people a lot easier and wonder what you were so upset about.

7 – Make a bit of an effort with yourself when out and about because you really don’t know who you’re going to meet when you’re on your way to work, grabbing a sandwich at a poncey artisan coffee shop or going for the burn in the gym. It could be something simple like shaving your legs daily, investing in a gorgeous, well-fitting bra or wearing an item of clothing you usually only reserve for special occasions that makes you feel more confident.

8 – Try something different. Taking a class at the gym is a brilliant way of meeting new people and the ice will already be broken as you’ve probably muttered a few obscenities under your breath as your arms feel like jelly and your kettlebell is wetter than your mum at a Peter Andre concert. You’ll get fit and meet loads of fitties, win-win.

facebook-status-as-single9 – Refresh your social networking profiles to show your single status, a lot of people will check your marital status via an online social networking profile before approaching you, just to be sure you’re not married. Oh and talking of social networking, ladies, keep all those dumb slutty Marilyn Monroe quote pictures OFF of your feeds, if he can’t handle you at your worst you’re probably a cunt.

10 – Go on blind dates, what’s the worst that could happen? Unless your friends are complete wankers you could be missing out on meeting someone amazing, or at least having a funny story to tell at the end of it!