10 tips for single ladies.

 

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You’re busy with work, you’re still butthurt over an ex, you haven’t got the time to meet people etc. yep, I’ve heard it all from women who badly want a relationship but will make every excuse under the sun as to why they’re cool with being single and why searching for a partner is too much hard work. No one seems to admit to wanting a partner, as a woman you’re made to feel desperate and clingy but being single can be awesome, I know this. I’ve lived this. But sometimes you reach a point where you want someone to go home to, you want someone to share shit with and it’s OK to admit that. You won’t suddenly burst into flames and a rampant midget won’t jump out of the ground and imprint ‘desperate’ on your forehead nor will your vagina suddenly spout a flag emblazoned with ‘I want a baby NOW!’ on it with an arrow pointing to your face. Everyone needs a little love and with the internet at your fingertips bursting at the seams with single men waiting to rip your heart and pants apart it’s easier than ever to find the Jay to your Bey¬†and being drunk in love, instead of well, just drunk.

beyonce single ladies1 – Admit you’re open to meeting someone. Being defensive won’t do you any favours as people will be less hesitant to introduce you to other single friends they have at the risk of having their head bitten off. Plus it’s a dead give away you want a relationship when you get all shitty over happy couples and their PDA’s. You bitter wench.

2 – Go out with other single friends more. Not only does constant socialising with couples make you feel like a spare wheel there’s also less chance of you meeting someone than if you were out with a group of girls plus it will make feel a bit less shit when you hear they’re not getting any either. Oh and you can’t really have an unforgettable night out with a group of loaded, pissed up suits if Suzie and Mike have got to be back home for 10 to put little Timmy to bed. Just make sure your fellow wing women aren’t more attractive than you, or have bigger tits.

3 – Don’t be a stuck up arsehole when guys DO approach you in bars and other social gatherings. I’ve SEEN this happen right in front of me, a decent looking guy has struck up conversation with a (single) friend of mine and to make herself look big and mighty in front us she looked him up and down and rudely rejected his offer of a drink. What a bitch. These women are the reason why men don’t offer to buy women drinks any more and it’s a real shame a guy will stare at you in a bar until the cows come home but only talk to you when he’s stalked you on Facebook to send you a message. Urgh. If you’re genuinely not interested, just say sorry and immediately turn your attention elsewhere but I guess this can open up a whole can of worms regarding the catcalling business but I’m a firm believer in still being polite. One thing that rattles my cage with that video was the way she just ignored everyone that spoke to her, a quick ‘sorry I’m not interested’ would have saved her some drama IMHO but that’s a whole different post.

being single4 – Attend social events for things you really love to meet like-minded people and of course a possible love interest. Websites like Meetup are really good for meeting people you share common ground with and most members of each group are there because they’re single and/or new to the area so it’s a bit of an unwritten rule people are there to date as well as make new friends.

5 – Choose your online dating sites wisely. Sites like Tinder are famous for hook-ups and casual flings and if that’s what you’re after then cool but for something more serious it could be worth investing in a paid site that matches you to people you have things in common with rather than a site that is based purely on looks and how long it would take to jump on the night bus for a booty call. Nice.

6 – The easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Oh yeah, that ol’ chestnut! But it’s true, if you’re hurting over a breakup and you’ll feel like you’ll never meet anyone it’s probably because you’re giving out negative energy and digging yourself further into a rut. Once you go on your first date as a newly single you’ll find meeting people a lot easier and wonder what you were so upset about.

7 – Make a bit of an effort with yourself when out and about because you really don’t know who you’re going to meet when you’re on your way to work, grabbing a sandwich at a poncey artisan coffee shop or going for the burn in the gym. It could be something simple like shaving your legs daily, investing in a gorgeous, well-fitting bra or wearing an item of clothing you usually only reserve for special occasions that makes you feel more confident.

8 – Try something different. Taking a class at the gym is a brilliant way of meeting new people and the ice will already be broken as you’ve probably muttered a few obscenities under your breath as your arms feel like jelly and your kettlebell¬†is wetter than your mum at a Peter Andre concert. You’ll get fit and meet loads of fitties, win-win.

facebook-status-as-single9 – Refresh your social networking profiles to show your single status, a lot of people will check your marital status via an online social networking profile before approaching you, just to be sure you’re not married. Oh and talking of social networking, ladies, keep all those dumb slutty Marilyn Monroe quote pictures OFF of your feeds, if he can’t handle you at your worst you’re probably a cunt.

10 – Go on blind dates, what’s the worst that could happen? Unless your friends are complete wankers you could be missing out on meeting someone amazing, or at least having a funny story to tell at the end of it!